Plot of I'm A Retired Crash Out But God's Intentional. The Story of Dark and Light.
Retired Crash Dummy Turned Highest Self
I used to wear my pain like armor
I thought being ride or die made me strong
That sacrificing myself for love meant I was loyal
That being chosen meant I had to endure being broken first
But the truth is, I was a crash dummy for pain.
I was male centered
Raised in a dynamic where I believed love had to be earned by pleasing
fixing
and proving
And because of that, I attracted someone who mirrored everything I hadnt healed
A narcissist who didnt just hurt me
he exposed me
He mirrored my abandonment wounds
He mirrored the emotional neglect I had normalized
He mirrored the gaslighting I grew up with and learned to call love
That relationship wasnt a curse
It was an initiation
It forced me to see myself
To stop pretending
To stop calling trauma loyalty
To face my inner child who never got chosen
who never got protected
who never got told she was enough just by being
And for the first time
I chose her
That pain led me to my power
That heartbreak cracked me open
That darkness made me meet my light
I stopped chasing love and started becoming it
I stopped begging for the bare minimum and started expecting divine alignment
And the moment I stopped identifying with struggle my true lover came
The one who sees me
holds me
and respects me not because I earned it but because hes aligned with the healed version of me
The version that knows what she deserves
The version that no longer mistakes intensity for intimacy
The version that no longer crashes for love
I am no longer the girl who thought love meant pain
I am the woman who met herself and then met her match*This entry is participating in the ReelShort Reel Vertical Impact contest
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